Track 1 - Water in the Purgatory Blues
Track 2 – Aphelion
Track 3 – Wuhan Bat Blues
Track 4 – The Unravelling

“There’s no lock on the door of a thought prison.” MJS

“The main thing is the environment…the environment we live in”, Leonard V.

“Me, myself, I do not believe in the death of Dali.” Salvador Dali

There isn’t, you know. There’s no lock on the door of a thought prison. They are seen, for sure. Thoughts. They are seen. Science has allowed us to see in pictorial form what a thought looks like. It looks like a shapely teardrop with rivers of electrochemicals connecting it to its neighbors. Sweet, I think, that a thought can look like a shapely teardrop. Sweet, I think that they can encompass sound, perception, feeling, memory, emotion and imagination. A teardrop full of electrochemical energy – quiet lightning within us. We think in language, Leo Buscaglia once said. Linguists tell us that we think in language. Wonderful how language does that. That primal energy – the quiet lightning - forms a thought. I wonder how long it lives. Do thoughts die with the thinker? Or do they live in another form? Energy is neither created nor destroyed so maybe thoughts never die. Maybe that’s immortality. You live on in some paradise (hopefully) in some energy form. I would like that. At some elemental soul-level you are a vibrating string. Your soul, i.e. love, is a vibration. Funny, right? A confluence of marvelous, mostly hidden potential. My daughter Megan tells me that the earth oscillates 57 octaves directly below B flat. A vibrating string at its core. With a musical bent. Getting back to thought prisons, I wonder what your thoughts look like. And mine. I wonder mostly what thoughts make us happy, serene and peaceful. That should be a goal of ours. Happy, serene, peaceful thoughts that look like shapely teardrops. And once again, there’s no lock on the door of a thought prison.

Track 1 - Water in the Purgatory Blues – Originally titled “Purgatory Blues,” I felt it was missing something. It occurred to me that water may be needed in purgatory. So, I added water sounds from Pilcher Park. As this song is over 19 minutes long, hopefully this is as long as you will spend in purgatory. When I came up with this little melody on the piano, my daughter’s dog Nala was here at our house. Upon hearing a few notes, Nala began to whimper. I thought, of course!, It’s purgatory. Nala is aging, she hears a haunting, simple repetitive, piano melody. She gets spooked. May this tiny bit of purgatory music be all you will ever experience of purgatory. That is my wish for whomever is reading this. This, from a good Italian catholic boy unafraid of purgatory.

Some notes: Water was recorded at Pilcher Park in Joliet, Illinois. Strings, ambient winds, water flutes were added with Mixcraft and Alchemy music software. And that’s me of course, playing the piano. It is a Bush and Gerts upright piano with a huge, upright harp inside. It was built in Chicago and is no longer being made. Rachelle, my youngest daughter wanted an acoustic piano when she was young and taking piano lessons, so we found this one. At times it occurs to me that it is so heavy it could fall through the floor one day.

A few thoughts about this purgatory issue. As I mentioned in a previous Cd write-up, I have come to believe that we create our own heaven and hell within our minds. Our five senses allow us to create beauty for ourselves and others. We can see, hear, taste, smell and touch our way into peaceful places in our minds and hearts. Our purgatories come when we fall short of the “ideal person” we were meant to become and give in to fear, despondency and despair. Mostly fear. These reflect upon us and our relationships with others. ”Fear is evil”, God Calling says. And again, from the Bible: “Perfect love casts out fear.” Seems there’s not room for both love and fear to exist side by side so fear gets cast out - by love. It has occurred to me that there are only love and fear. The problem I have with the media, even the Bible at times is this: Too much of your time, too many of your lessons focus on fear. Joy is also possible and a better teacher than fear. I feel I should tell you a story…

Hitler in the Passing Lane

Adolph Hitler was born April 20th, 1889. According to my last calculation, he would have been 131 years old on April 20th, 2020 - a few days ago. I met Mr. Madman Hitman Hitler in the passing lane on his 131st birthday. My friend, King Santiago del Fuego wants to tell you a story now…

Good morning people. This story is being read to you by King Santiago del Fuego. I must tell you a story. My friend, Mister Mark - God's Favorite Harpist - was going to get some nature sounds for his Cds on Hitler's birthday in commemoration of Mr. Hitman's birthday. He had noticed in the past that all of Mr. Hitler's home movies were in the beautiful sunshine and it was a beautiful day April 20th, 2020. It is a beautiful time of year, this time in April, and Mister Mark was shooting some video in "commemoration" of Mr. Madman Hitman. It was his birthday, after all, and, like Mr. Hitler’s home movies, it was a beautiful day outside. Mister Mark was coming home and Mr. Madman Hitman Hitlerman was behind him in a truck. And Mister Mark was going slow because he was in a very peaceful mood and apparently this Mr. Madman Hitman Hitlerman wasn't happy with going 5 miles per hour under the speed limit. Mr. Madman Hitman got into the passing lane and at the next stoplight proceeded to give my friend a piece of his mind. And it was a very big, ugly mind. Mister Mark did not appreciate that at all and Mr. Madman Hitman then made a final, obscene, offensive sexual gesture to Mister Mark. Now, I am King Santiago del Fuego and I know an obscene, offensive sexual gesture when I see it. This does not please me, so as you can see, my friend, Mister Mark asked me to write a letter and I said, "To whom shall King Santiago write a letter? King Santiago is King, after all. He doesn't need to write a letter." But I put down on the pen and the paper a few thoughts and there you have it. Mr. Madman Hitman What-Ever-His-Name-Is... is gone.

An interesting note here concerning Mister Madman Hitler: Adolph Hitler’s father’s name was Alois Schicklgruber. His father, Alois Schicklgruber was born the illegitimate offspring of Maria Schicklgruber and an unknown father. Maria Schicklgruber remarried a man named Johann Georg Heidler. Johann’s brother was faced with the problem of the extinction of the family name because he had 3 daughters and no sons so he promised Alois (Hitler’s father) money if he changed his name to Heidler. Alois agreed, money changed hands and Alois changed the Heidler name slightly to Alois Hitler. So, Adolph Hitler, the most notorious devil man the current world has ever seen, was raised with this made up family name, i.e. Adolph Hitler.

taken from The Purity Chronicles, Mark J. Sartori


Here is a thought about hell. I have been around severely disabled people most of my adult life and have concluded that inflammation in the body can be, for some people, a kind of hell and / or purgatory. That would certainly be all the hell anyone would need for lesson learning, I would hope. Also, purgatory involves time. The span of time during which, life is uncomfortable. This happens in everyday earthly life in every person’s life. When you are in physical discomfort, a toothache perhaps, or a sore knee or back, or in my client Craig’s case, a sore scrotum. Suffering, I’ve noticed has many bad qualities. The sufferer turns inward towards his or her suffering. No one is helped, unless by some miracle, the Christian practice works, i.e. turning your suffering into someone else’s benefit. Redeeming the suffering in some way and turning it into a blessing. That’s a tough one when the suffering involves physical pain. Your tendency is to turn toward the pain in order to lessen it and attend to it.

Regarding pain and suffering and joy… I prefer joy as my teacher…

My client, Craig has something to say now. As some of you know, Craig is one of my clients and an incomplete quadraplegic. This means he has some motion in his upper body, but because of his spinal cord injury, cannot move freely. While this allows him some motion it also means he can feel pain. Four days per week I arrive at his house around 7 am or so to get him out of bed, showered, fed, etc. He often tells me that the thing he misses most about his disability is his inability to experience the cool morning air outside. You and I take that for granted, don’t we? In just a few minutes I will go outside to feed the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks. (it is 4:55 am on June 1st, 2020 as I write this.) It is a nice cool morning and I always enjoy doing this little daily ritual. Craig tells me that the last time he experienced a cool morning outside was 10 years ago, in 2010. He was going to a speaking engagement in Chicago, it was morning and he was a Chicago parking garage. You know how the wind blows through an outside parking garage? Well, that was the last time – 10 years ago – that he experienced being outside on a cool morning in the spring. That, of course, is more than a thought prison but, in reality, a prison of actual limitation. I’m listening to the birds outside my door right now…

Today is my 35th wedding anniversary, June 1st, 2020. We have been married 35 years but knew and were with each other the six years prior to our wedding on June 1st, 1985. So, we have known each other 41 years. Two-thirds of our life together. We are going to Door County in Wisconsin today. It was my wife’s idea since the last time we were there we were newly married and had no children. I will, of course be documenting stuff with cameras and audio equipment for future Cds, etc. It will be fun. My wife is good company.

Just an update…Today is June 8th, 2020. It is a beautiful sunny day outside. Our trip to Door County was extraordinary….Some things happened…I lost all my video and audio from the camera. Luckily, I saved some snapshots (for Cd covers)…Also, because we hiked so much in Door County and because I spend about 16 hours per day on my feet, I have a very sore left foot right now, but it seems to get better as the day goes on. I use Ancient Minerals magnesium lotion and / or Arnica extra strength lotion and I take turmeric 3 times a day for the inflammation. As the day moves on and I keep moving around it gets better. I see Lenci and Megan and Mike in a couple hours…

I love this time of year. The beginning of June is especially beautiful in the Midwest here where I live. Low humidity, clear blue skies, puffy cumulus clouds…As I mentioned, we got married on June 1st, 1985. The previous day I handed in my final assignment for my degree in Bioengineering. We flew to Cancun, Mexico in the Yucatan Peninsula, on June 2nd. It was a beautiful place to go on a honeymoon. Beautiful weather in the Caribbean this time of year as well. After I left my job at the VA in July 2008, my life got very fun. As you may have noticed, I have an enormous nature sound library that I still add to every day or so. I spent a few years just traveling to parks, nature trails, state parks and other places that I know. One of the things we did after my son passed away was, we traveled to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. It was our first real family vacation. This was because my son’s disability prevented us from traveling. The Outer Banks trip happened June 2nd – June 9th. The weather proved wonderful and as I’ve mentioned on a previous Cd write-up, we were talking to some local surfers and one of them pointed out that the water was turquoise blue. This happened only rarely in the Outer Banks and was the result of the Gulf of Mexico mixing in with the Atlantic Ocean. That also was the beginning of June. A good time to have a good time, I think.

Track 2 – Aphelion - happens around July 4. The earth, at the far end of her elliptical orbit, is the farthest away from the sun. Perihelion happens around January 5th when the earth is closest to the sun in its elliptical orbit. So, we have winter here in the Northern Hemisphere when the earth is the closest to the sun. Summer in the Southern Hemisphere when perihelion happens in January.

Some notes: Harp solo with Alchemy software used for soundscapes, water flutes, congas and ambient wind. That cool slide guitar is me playing my Breedlove 12-string with a ceramic slide. I intend to explore this kind of symbiosis with the harp and 12-string slide guitar in future Cds.

Track 3 – Wuhan Bat Blues – I have many, many unreleased recordings of myself playing piano, guitar and harp. Months and months of recorded music. Most every morning, I wake up early, around 4–5 am. I check my email, my music pages, see where my listeners are from and do music stuff. For many months I recorded myself playing my Ramirez and Breedlove guitars during these early mornings. These recordings will be used on future Cds. Also, I have lots of recorded piano music. Wuhan Bat Blues is such a piano recording. I have been playing in E minor, A minor and B minor mostly as well as B flat, E flat and A flat. Again, Alchemy software was used for the water flutes. An udo, which is a Nigerian percussion instrument was added with Mixcraft software. Frogs were recorded on April 6th, 2020 at Bliss Woods with my wife. Slide guitar is me again on the 12-string Breedlove. Birds recorded at Kickapoo State Park a few years ago. Geese were recorded March 13th, 2020 at Pilcher Park.

I thought I would put a recipe here in case you get hungry in this thought prison:

Leftover Linguini Recipe

- Day-old linguini
- Sautéed scallops (I saute in olive oil, minced garlic, salt, pepper, parsley and butter)
- Pieces of salmon with skin (Did you know that when bears are satiated with salmon after feeding extensively, they tear off the skin only and throw the rest of the salmon back into the water? The skin of the salmon contains a high amount of the salmon’s total nutritional value.)
- Yellow squash
- Stewed tomatoes
- Minced garlic
- Lots of olive oil (use on day 2 for sautéing and drizzling)

Heat olive oil in pan. Combine all day-old ingredients and saute in oil. Drizzle with oil while cooking. Enjoyable dish for leftovers!

While you are in this thought prison, I thought you would like to know the origin of the Wuhan Bat Flu. Here it is:

The Wuhan Bat Blues and the Printed Boarding Pass

Back in early September 2019, I found myself in O'Hare airport in Chicago, Illinois about to board a plane to go see Rachelle my daughter in Helena, Montana. I walked to the boarding gate and stumbled upon approximately 150 people staring at their phones, sitting, waiting for the plane to board. Every single person was doing this. No one was reading the paper, a book or talking to their neighbor. I brought a book with me and was reading it - a book called something like "The Alphabet and the Goddess" which my daughter Megan had recommended to me. It concerns the end of patriarchy as we know it and was a good read. Finally, we were all called up to the boarding gate and I realized - with some interest - that I was the only one with a printed boarding pass. "Welcome, Mr. Sartori", the boarding agent cheerfully said to me, scanned my printed boarding pass and let me on the plane. "Wow", I said quietly to myself, "Seems like mind control to me - all those phones plastered to all those people." But I spoke only to myself, boarded the plane and read my book. There are very few, if any, direct flights to Helena, so we made a stop in Minneapolis for a couple hour layover. This is where it happened.

The Minneapolis airport is small with nice restaurants, so I was looking forward to some dinner and a beer. I gathered my things and de-boarded the plane. "Sir", I heard from some feminine voice directed at me. I turned around and saw a petite Asian woman walking toward me, seemingly determined to keep me from my dinner and craft airport beer. "King Santiago del Fuego would like to have a word with you." I paused a moment trying to decide what to do. I've never really met a king before...I had a large carry-on bag, books, recording equipment, etc....and I wasn't in the mood to get arrested for any small time crimes I may or may not have committed. I had my passport with me in case Rachelle and I made our way to Canada and I would need to show it. "Huh?", I said. "I have my passport if you'd like to see it. I'm just going to visit my daughter in Montana. King who?" "King Santiago del Fuego. He would like to speak with you. Come with me please." So, reluctantly I followed the Asian woman in front of me dragging my bag and other stuff with me. She found a small nondescript door and opened it and we entered a room. Therein a small dwarf king sat in a chair too big for him with his legs dangling in mid-air, moving them back and forth like a child would. "Ah, Mr. Sartori", he said. "Welcome. I have come a long way to meet you." I tried to take in and process what was in front of me: A dwarf king surrounded by his minions, me and my Asian escort all cramped in this little room. "May I help you", I said a bit perturbed that I would be late for dinner. "It is you who will be helped by me." He motioned to one of his minions to pull up a chair for me, waved his tiny arm and motioned for me to have a seat. His crown lay upon the table in front of us. He wore an open vest with short pants, and all-in-a-sudden I recognized him. A few years earlier my daughter had told a story to me that she had heard from her friend Dara. The story made the Naperville Sun - a local newspaper in Naperville, Illinois. It seems a certain young girl was babysitting at a family's home. The babysitter went downstairs for something and came upon, what she thought was a lamp stand. It was a statue of a midget with a lampshade on his head. He stood motionless with the lampshade on his head and the babysitter did a double take to make sure her brain wasn't playing tricks on her. She went upstairs and asked the children about the midget lamp they had in the basement. "Huh?, they said. "What are you talking about?" They proceeded downstairs, snapped a picture and called the police. As it turned out, the police came and this midget-dwarf-lampstand statue was one Santiago del Fuego - inpatient at a nearby psychiatric mental hospital. It seems he escaped and found his way to this family's home, somehow entered, found a lamp shade, put it on for a disguise and stood like a statue when he heard the babysitter come downstairs. This was the King Santiago del Fuego who was sitting in front of me, delaying my dinner date with myself and my craft airport beer. I'm pretty good at reading a room and can adjust fairly quickly to my surroundings but dwarfs undo me. I can't focus very well when confronted by warlord-dwarf-midget kings with the last name "del Fuego." Were his dwarf ancestors in the habit of walking across the globe to Tierra del Fuego? They walked to Patagonia?? Anyway, something not right about their DNA, and this unnerves me. "I really don't know what you are talking about. I'm just a father going to see his daughter", growing a bit uneasy of this small king with his minion army besides him. "I know. I know. We know who you are. You are the last person in this hemisphere to use a printed boarding pass. That's why we need to speak to you." After more words of encouragement, King Santiago del Fuego and his minions took me aboard his private plane and told me this story. "I am the sole monarch of my private island, Muchy Peachy in the Cayman Islands. It is a small island and I am the proud ruler and king. Government officials throughout the world come to my island to consult with me about their worldly matters and concerns. Our little island is a jewel and they come for the weather and scenery as well. But we discuss business and governmental matters there over a period of a few days. There has been growing concern that people are becoming too close with their electronic devices. They come to a beautiful island like ours and spend all their time staring at their phones. This cannot stand. It has been decided by the ancients that a lesson is in store. A scourge will be prepared and unleashed from the earth. A hot zone, if you will. It will take the form of a flu virus that will prohibit people from interacting with each other. This is what they want, after all. Isolation from each other. So, this is what they will receive. You have been spared by the ancients as well as your progeny because of your printed boarding pass. As has been told to me, you still read books from paper sources, don't own a smartphone and use your computer for creative purposes. This is well and good and has been the source of your preservation. Be well and be careful." So, this was my introduction to the current Wuhan Bat Flu which now invades the earth. As I mentioned, this was September 2019. Just a few months later, the world would never be the same. Santiago del Fuego - the schizophrenic-lampstand-warlord-dwarf king from the island of Muchy Peachy in the Cayman Islands, taxied me to safety from his private plane, helped me board a jet and sent me on my way to Helena to see my daughter. I never was able to have dinner and a beer.

taken from "The Wuhan Bat Flu and other Musical Essays" - appears as a short story in "The Erratic Weather Years" by Rachelle Sartori, Megan Sartori and Mark J. Sartori

And here are the lyrics to a more bluesy version of the Wuhan Bat Blues:

And here is the Wuhan Bat Blues, completed on Easter Sunday 2020. Tony on lead guitar, Mike or me on slide guitar, Pete on vocals (after a couple bourbons), Megan on vocals (up high, the way only Megan can sing), Rachelle on percussion, me or Rachelle on piano (perhaps), Lenci Aria on harmonica, Milo (playing "Boo") purring.

Wuhan Bat Blues

I's sittin' at home,
Where da buffalo roam,
Me and my pot full o' stew.

I's sitting at home,
And I ain't alone,
Me and my mornin' dew.

My critters, my phone,
And I ain't alone,
Singin' my black bat blues.

I's sittin' at home,
And I ain't alone,
But I's feelin' mighty blue.

I's sittin' at home,
Where da buffalo roam,
With my sassy black cat "Boo".

I's sitting at home,
Where the buffalo roam,
All alone here me and you.

The news tell me quick,
I's gonna be sick,
If I go outta dis room.

The news tell me quick,
You's gonna be sick,
If you get near me soon,

The news tell me quick,
He's gonna be sick,
If he come 'round here too,

I's sitting at home,
And I ain't alone,
Singing my black bat blues.

The stores all are closed,
And I don't suppose,
They want me any way.

The stores all are closed,
And I don't suppose,
I need anything today.

Cops all around,
Takin' me down,
Thinkin' they're doin' some good.

Cops all around,
Chasin' me down,
"Get home boy, as I would",

This may be so,
I really don't know,
I go here and there as I should.

The churches be quiet,
The preacher be silent,
Reflecting now as we should.

These bat bugs contain,
Thunder and Rain,
Fear and distress,
And, oh, what a mess,

Red lights hypnotize,
An easy surmise,
With da sins on the table,
The black bats are able,
"A potion we'll blend you",
"To your knees we will send you",
It's easy to see,
Between you and me,
They'd hurt you if they are able.

With da sins on the table,
The black bats are able,
"A potion we'll blend you",
"To your knees we will send you",
Between you and me,
It's easy to see,
They'd hurt you if they are able.

Easter be closed,
As everyone knows,
A knock on the nose,
For Christ and his brother,
And every another,
And bunnies and eggs,
Dey don't go together.

So please tell me quick,
Before I get sick,
Is the man on the news,
Important for flus?
Or is he just being a dick?

Wuhan Bat Blues, by Mark J. Sartori, Easter Sunday 2020

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Back on Christmas Day 2019, we all gathered at my nephew Pete’s house. This is a yearly tradition and one we all look forward to. Pete, Marcy, their 3 kids and lots of relatives every Christmas Day. After dinner Tony got out Pete’s guitar and we all listened and laughed and Pete sang and Tony played the blues for us. My nephew, Mario, told us all a story about when he slept over at Pete and Tony’s and Pete told us about a dream he had. The devil came for Tony, and Pete, being the older brother thought he should protect his baby brother from the devil. Well, I came home and wrote some lyrics:

When the devil came for Tony notes:

CD title: When the Devil Comes for Tony

Christmas 2019 - Blues session - Title track: When the Devil Came for Tony

Track 1 - I Put the Seed In
Track 2 - No, Baby, No
Track 3 - The Damage I Done
Track 4 - When the Devil Came for Tony
Track 5 - Don't Trifle With Me
Track 6 - She's Slow Movin'

lyrics:
When the devil came for Tony,
Upon that fateful day,
When the devil comes for Tony,
In each and ev-ry way.

When the devil came for Tony,
Upon his sleepin' bed,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Tryin' to make him dead.

When the devil came for Tony,
Ohhh, so long ago,
When the devil comes for Tony,
I takes it nice and slow. (guitar solo)

refrain: When the devil comes, when the devil comes, when the devil comes for Tony. When the devil comes, When the devil comes, when the devil came for Tony. (sung by Pete...Megan up high doing background singing
"No, baby, no" "No, baby no"


When the devil came for Tony,
While young and still brand new,
When the devil comes for Tony,
This is what I do. (guitar solo)

When the devil came for Tony,
Don't mean no harm to you,
When the devil comes for Tony,
No, this is what I do. (guitar solo, Megan singing scat.)

When the devil came for Tony,
Can see it now alright,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Each and ev-ry night.

refrain: When the devil came, when the devil came, when the devil came for Tony. When the devil came, When the devil came, when the devil comes for Tony. (sung by Pete...Megan up high doing background - singing
"No, baby, no" "No, baby no"

When the devil came for Tony,
No matter No Body home,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Dis is how I roam. (guitar solo here...maybe Mike on slide guitar)

When the devil came for Tony,
Gonna hear about it too,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Gonna give the devil his due. (Megan singing solo)

When the devil came for Tony,
Wasn't home that day,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Here is what I say. (Guitar/vocal riffs)

refrain: When the devil came, when the devil came, when the devil came for Tony. When the devil came, When the devil came, when the devil comes for Tony. (sung by Pete...Megan up high doing background - singing
"No, baby, no" "No, baby no"

When the devil came for Tony,
Eyed him out da crowd,
When the devil comes for Tony,
Shout it all out loud. (vocal riffs here...I hear Megan up high)

refrain: When the devil came, when the devil came, when the devil came for Tony. When the devil came, When the devil came, when the devil comes for Tony. (sung by Pete...Megan up high doing background - singing
"No, baby, no" "No, baby no"

When the devil came for Tony,
Upon his sleepin' bed...
When the devil comes for Tony...
You b-e-t-t-a t-a-k-e my s-o-u-l i-n-s-t-e-a-d. (Pete's vocal solo now slowly, weary....)

*************************************************************************************

Track 4 – The Unravelling – Harp solo again. A Shakuhachi flute added was added with Mixcraft software as well as the strings, and congas.
*************************************************************************************

Lovely May day here in the Midwest. Sunny, cool morning, May 27th, 2020. May is both rainy and lovely here in the Midwest. I have reflected lately that I live near the Great Lakes. If you look at a map of the world, the Great Lakes region of the United States looks unique in its topography and the shape of the Great Lakes. They are Lake Michigan, Lake Erie, Lake Ontario, Lake Huron, and Lake Superior. All the Great Lakes are shared with Canada with Lake Michigan being the only lake solely in the United States. It’s wonderful to be so close to so much fresh water. We take it for granted, but our bodies are mostly water. May is a wonderful month to be caught in a thought prison. Summer is coming!

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Had a torrential tornado storm come through here recently. The sky didn’t turn green as it sometimes does during tornadoes, but it caused a lot of damage nearby where I live. Trees down, breaking through roofs, on top of cars, blocking things, everywhere. All this happened a few days ago.

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This is what google says about the month of May: May is named after the Greek goddess Maia who looked after plants. The month is known for love and success. It’s nice that plants are involved in the naming of May. In May, the Catholic church celebrates the Virgin Mary. She is known as the “Queen of May”. She, and the month of May are symbolically, forever linked. “May Crownings” a Roman Catholic ritual honoring the Virgin Mary, happen in May. Other things happen in May. The deadly storm on Mount Everest in John Krakauer’s book “Into Thin Air” happened on May 10th, my birthday. John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer from Chicago was executed on the tenth of May. The tearing down of strongholds, it seems to me, happens in May. Cinco de Mayo, the fifth of May, is the half-way point of spring. Coming out of winter, life turns green with chlorophyll, the sun gradually returning to its zenith in the coming months. Days are crisp with little humidity and high puffy cumulus clouds. Weather has a certain certainty in May. Early in May, rain is common. As the month lengthens, the weather turns sunny and cool. 70 degrees Fahrenheit, clear skies. Birds, wildlife active. Winter gone. Winter babies about 5 months old.

At the beginning of this year, 2020, the world is experiencing the Wuhan Flu. It belongs to the corona virus family of viruses so called because they resemble a monarch’s crown. SARS, another corona virus happened around 2003. In less than 20 years, a flu virus mutated and went from bats to humans. Normally, it takes around 800 years for this to happen. So, there is the thought that the Wuhan Flu was concocted in labs in America and China. I once watched a documentary about Lyme’s disease having a similar beginning – in a lab in the eastern part of the United States. This sickens me but it is what I read and saw. If so, it seems like a devil thing and I’d rather not talk about the devil right now. Thought prisons don’t need the devil’s company.

It occurred to me that, if you found yourself in a thought prison, it could be a vast, beautiful place. A lovely dwelling place with beautiful words, beautiful music, art, pictures, gentle sounds and water and love. It is only a thought prison, after all. It’s yours. But, nonetheless, the world is in an imposed prison presently with the advent of the Wuhan flu. It hasn’t affected me much as King Santiago – my warlord midget dwarf schizophrenic King friend mentioned to me last September at the Minneapolis airport, would happen.


Today is June 5th, 2020. Where do I begin? Tomorrow, June 6th was my eldest son, John Peter’s original due date. He was born 3 months premature on March 9th, 1987. He endured much in his 23 years here on earth. John Peter was conceived, I believe, in a drafty old farmhouse somewhere in Wisconsin. Back in September 1986, an orthopedic medical resident named Doug S. came into my lab - the Orthopedic Biomechanics Lab in the Research and Developmental Center at the Hines Veterans Hospital in Hines, Illinois. He casually tossed a small newspaper from Loyola Medical Center onto the counter in the lab. I picked it up and leafed through it. In the back was a classified ad to rent a farmhouse for the weekend. The farmhouse was in Wisconsin. My wife and I like to do stuff like that, so I brought the Loyola paper home and we decided to go. It was September 1986. I believe my son was conceived at this drafty farmhouse during this weekend in September. Perhaps my wife caught something here, something in the air, I don’t know. Anyway, she conceived. On February 23rd, 1987 she had a routine prenatal doctor’s visit. Her blood pressure was 200 over 110. She was admitted to Loyola on this day. She had toxemia / pre-eclampsia and was ordered to complete bed rest until, on March 9th, my son, John Peter was born at 2 lbs. exactly. Premature babies have many complications, with immature lungs being at the top of this list. He was ventilated and was in the Loyola Medical Center’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit until his release 8 long months later. His release was on November 12th, 1987. He had a rough go of it in the hospital. Near the end of July, the neonatal nurse weighed him and inadvertently decannulated him. This mean, his trach tube was bumped out of place, by mistake. A “Code Blue” was called on him. This resulted in him suffering a primary respiratory arrest with a secondary cardiac arrest for 13 long minutes. Thirteen minutes without oxygen. At 1:57 AM, I received a call from the medical resident doctor explaining all of this. “Your son is fine”, she said. Well, the next day we went to see him, and he wasn’t fine. His muscle tone was spastic and his head was turned to one side. He had “cortical thumbs” which is when the four fingers fold over your thumb and your thumb can’t come out. This is a sign of a brain injury. My life would never be the same. An interesting note here. As I mentioned, my wife was admitted to the hospital on February 23rd, 1987. Two years later – to the day – my daughter Megan would be born on February 23rd, 1989. Another interesting note regarding this: My job as a Biomedical Engineer at Hines and Loyola Hospitals began on December 16th, 1985. Twenty-five years later – to the day – I would bury my son in the Saint John the Baptist Catholic cemetery near my home, on December 16th, 2010. My son had severe spastic cerebral palsy, was non-verbal, profoundly mentally retarded, had cortical blindness (from the lack of oxygen) and was fed with a G-tube through his stomach his entire life. He was completely and utterly disabled. He was a beautiful baby boy and grew into a handsome young man with chestnut brown curls and he had the fingers of a piano player. His ears were his best sensing organ and music filled his every waking hour. I had to play the guitar and harp for him so he wouldn’t cry from the pain and discomfort of his profound disabilities. The fact that you are reading this Cd write-up is largely due to our shared life together. He was a gentle, sweet boy, completely normal from a genetic point of view, other than his brain injury. When my mother (his Nonna) was nearing the end of her life, I had the good fortune to spend the last 3 years with her every day. I picked her up every day and brought her to my house for lunch and visiting. One day, I went to get her. My son was still alive and at home with my wife. I walked into my mom’s bedroom where she was sitting on the edge of her bed waiting for me. “Who’s the boy in the doorway?”, she asked me. I turned and looked toward her bedroom door. “There’s no boy in the doorway”, I said. I mentioned this to my wife later and she said my mom asked her the same question recently. “What does he look like?”, my wife asked my mom. “He’s looks like a regular boy”, my mom said. Shortly after, days perhaps, my son succumbed to pneumonia and died. I believe my mom saw him in some spiritual state right before he left this earth. Perhaps he wanted to "see" his Nonna before he left this earth since he had no vision during his life.

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I’m sure you want to hear from The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show while you are in this thought prison. Why not?

“His ancestors broke the law 6 times in 48 years. Divide 48 by 6 - you get 8. Eight is feminine. Remember that. Women were involved”, spoken by Jonathan Parsons concerning James Crackow, The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“It was based on a lie…the story they told…Based on a lie”, spoken by Chief Trifle, Echoes of Wildcat Canyon, Mark J. Sartori

“I was in Mud Turtle, Illinois when I found it. May 17th at a little outdoor mailbox library called “Little Lending Library”. Hemingway’s lost manuscript in a brown manila envelope. And a second book of poetry. And this tape”, spoken by Uncle Rastus O’Dear, The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“I feel I should jump in here. AJ had some bad stuff happen to him. He copes the only way he knows how. He has autistic tendencies. He does number stuff”, spoken by Jonathan Parsons, The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“AJ’s been doing number stuff again.” Spoken by Jonathan Parsons, The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“Lolita and I met as children. She was 9 and I was 1”, spoken by Jonathan Parsons, taken from The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“Jonathan and I have two children together so far. Delaney Grace and my little Benjamin. And as I’ve already mentioned, my husband wants twins later in life. Says those gemini moons of his are getting restless”. Spoken by Lolita-Antoinette DeBennedetti-Parsons, taken from The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“As I said before, J.P. is Argentinian and Italian. He says to me: “That’s as close as you’re gonna get to the Pope, baby. That’s as close as you’re gonna get”. Spoken by Lolita-Antoinette DeBennedetti-Parsons, taken from The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

“Silly boy. Likes me barefoot”, spoken by Lolita-Antoinette DeBennedetti-Parsons, taken from The Indiana BigTop Travelling Show, Mark J. Sartori

(If we are going to be in a thought prison, we may as well have Lolita barefoot.)

My sincere and special thanks to my friend Patricia Shaw for the use of her painting entitled “get out of the heat”. Such a pretty picture!